Book
Did you ever have a coworker tell you they want your job and they want you to fail because they know they are far superior to you? It is possible, but not likely. Instead, you might be the recipient of an attack that is much more subtle, a hint of a sneer, a one liner, a critical remark, a sideward glance, or a cold shoulder. The occurrence might be so slight that you question whether it really happened. If there is a second occurrence, you might start to feel a bit crazy.
The craziness you feel is a good indicator that someone has stung you. We use the metaphor of being stung to describe being figuratively blindsided or injured by someone who lies and manipulates, or who is selfish, irresponsible, or arrogant. Those who sting can be strangers, friends, family members, coworkers, or others who consistently exhibit patterns of unscrupulous behaviors.
In this book we refer to “B”s. These are people who repeatedly execute manipulative behaviors that lead to social dysfunction. Encounters with “B”s surprise and sting us when we least expect it. “B”s operate on a behavioral continuum from mild to severe. Their behaviors range from sporadic to frequent and can be recognized by their patterns.
Being stung by “B”s wears people down, sickens them, causes them to leave the jobs they love, precipitates divorces and suicides, compels people to stop trusting each other, and subsequently causes them to stop caring about making the world a better place.
Most “B”s fly under the radar of mental health professionals and are often assisted by others who protect them. The “B’s” attract protectors by using charm, power, beauty, money, and knowledge. People allow “B”s to repeatedly sting them because they don’t recognize the patterns in the “B’s” behaviors. They continue to see themselves as victims not realizing they could have the knowledge and the power to prevent future stings.
All the stories in this book were collected from friends and acquaintances. Although this book is about people who exhibit manipulative behaviors and reactions to these people, it is more specifically about how these behaviors affect us in ways we don’t realize. Our purpose is to help you recognize patterns of “B” behaviors so you will know when you have been stung. Also, by reading this book we hope you will gain the courage to reject the role of victim and gain the strength to take a proactive approach to your future encounters with potential “B”s.
STUNG BY “B”s: A storybook on how to recognize and survive venomous behaviors
Table of Contents
Introductory Chapter
Chapter One: Definitions of Cluster B Personality Disorders and Examples of “B” Behaviors
Chapter Two: Where It All Begins
Chapter Three: Gifts from Stranger “B”s
Chapter Four: Friends
Chapter Five: Spouses, Lovers and Family
Chapter Six: Coworkers
Chapter Seven: The Group Effect: Our Responsibility to the Collective
Chapter Eight: Organizational Politics: When to Hold, Fight or Fold
Chapter Nine: The Dance of Denial
Chapter Ten: Tolerating “B”s
Chapter Eleven: The Courage to Fight Back
Chapter Twelve: Surviving the “B” Stings
About Us
Theresa JK Drinka, Ph.D., M.S.S.W., L.C.S.W. is a licensed clinical social worker. She has also been a program developer, administrator, educator, and clinical researcher. In 1996 she established Drinka Consulting and Training, conducting human systems analysis and team development. In addition to co-authoring the book, Health Care Teamwork: Interdisciplinary Practice and Teaching, Dr. Drinka has authored articles, videos, and book chapters on inter-professional dynamics, self-directed work teams, mental health, and patient and team assessment instruments.
Jeni Synnes, M.S.S.W., L.C.S.W. is a licensed clinical social worker and a program manager. She has spent her career working primarily in mental health and geriatrics. She specializes in offering behavioral management techniques to staff to help prevent burnout when working with challenging clients and colleagues.
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